


Another Day in the Sun

by REwrites



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: rs_games, Haunted Houses, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2013-01-24
Packaged: 2017-11-26 17:06:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/652508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/REwrites/pseuds/REwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is it haunted? I suppose that depends on who is telling the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Day in the Sun

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2012 RS_Games.

_I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now? -John Lennon_

oOo

" _Well, you're not from around here so of course you don't know…"_

" _Know what?"_

" _Didn't Sirius tell you why people say the Shrieking Shack is haunted?"_

oOo

"Sorry I'm late!"

Sirius looked up at the sound of the voice coming towards him. Still seated atop his trunk as he had been for the last forty minutes, he crossed his arms and gave the man a withering look.

"Oh, no problem," Sirius said with false cheer, still glaring at the man. "I've only been waiting for-bloody-ever!"

"Watch your language, young man. That is no way to talk to your most gracious host for the summer," the man reprimanded, but there was a genial twinkle in his eye as he said it.

Sirius adopted his most innocent of innocent faces, the sort that always managed to charm his tutors and, more recently, his professors at the school his parents shipped him off to for most of the year. "Sorry, sir," he said, effecting an apologetic tone.

"None of that _sir_ nonsense, either," the man ordered, pulling Sirius from his sitting position and embracing him warmly. "I'm your uncle, not your father."

"Thank God for that," Sirius said with feeling, but pushing his uncle away after a minute. He was thirteen now, after all, and much too old for hugging. "I swear, Al, I might have lost my mind if I had to spend another minute with those people."

Alphard hoisted the trunk under one arm and led Sirius out of the station. "You could have phoned me sooner, you know. I'm always happy to take in a wayward Black."

He shrugged and jammed his hands into the pockets of his trousers. He'd made the mistake the previous year, declining his uncle's offer to visit for the summer. A mistake, he had not been prepared to repeat. His mother had argued but eventually gave in. He was only grateful she'd refused to let Regulus leave as well. A whole summer away from the dreary house where his father was dying; he wondered why he still felt so wretched.

Alphard was just asking him about the trip as they loaded Sirius's belongings into the trunk of his car when a man rushed across the street towards them, narrowly missing being hit by a car.

"Dr. Black!" the man called as he approached. "I was just on my way to your office. It's my wife. She hasn't been able to get out of bed for three days now. The pain is too much she said. Can you come take a look? I know it's last minute…" the man trailed off looking anxious.

Alphard sighed and shot Sirius a look. "Just go," Sirius said, giving him a little push. "I'll muck around in the village for a while."

"I shouldn't be more than an hour." He retrieved a black medical bag from the front seat of the car and he reached in his pocket, handing Sirius his wallet. "Go get yourself something to eat."

Sirius watched him hurry off with the anxious man and tucked the wallet into his pocket, deciding a trip to the sweet shop was definitely in order.

Twenty minutes later found Sirius munching on a bar of chocolate, his remaining purchases swinging from a bag on his arm, and wandering aimlessly through the village. Boredom was setting in now that he had no task to occupy his mind. He kicked a small pebble into the road and huffed when the sounds of shouting and laughter drew his attention.

"Bet you can't hit that window, Gid!" one of them jeered, the voices of the children growing louder as he turned a corner.

Three boys, a little older than himself, were gathered in front of a house that looked condemned. Grass and weeds grew in sparse patches behind a rusty gate. The windows were dark where they were not boarded up and the house itself was faded with deep cracks in the foundation. It sloped a little to one side. A chill ran down his spine as he looked on it.

It reminded Sirius of a rabbit he and Regulus had found once, hopping awkwardly on a badly healed leg. Clumps of its fur were missing, displaying ugly scars, and a large chunk of its ear had been torn off. The injuries were long since healed but Sirius guessed it had only narrowly escaped a fight with some predator, and he was sad when he thought of the pretty creature suffering so much. It hopped off before he could get close which was probably for the best, as his mother would never have let him keep it.

"Watch and learn, Longbottom," said a confident voice. Sirius watched as a red-headed boy took aim and hurled a rock hard. There was the sound of a loud _thunk_ as it knocked a rotting shingle from the roof, far from the window on the second landing that he'd aimed for, and then laughter and boos from the other boys. "Shut up! The wind messed up my throw."

"Whatever," the first voice, Longbottom apparently, said then whistled low when his eyes landed on Sirius. "Who do we have here?" he said and the group turned.

"Check out the posh little tosser. What do you want, eh?" the boy who threw the stone asked, eyeing him closely. Beside him, another boy with the same shade of red hair snorted with laughter.

He crossed his arms and smirked at the other boy. "That's rich coming from someone who throws like a girl. I think my grandmother could do better actually, and she's dead."

"He's got a point, Gideon," the other red-haired boy said, looking at his twin critically, one hand stroking his freckled chin. "I think even Molly could show you up after a performance like that."

"Traitor!" the one called Gideon gasped before launching himself at his twin.

The gate shook as the two brothers fell against the metal bars, grappling at hands and kicking hard at each other's shins. There were loud cries of "unhand me" and "take it back you ugly git" as they continued to wrestle.

Longbottom let out a bored sigh and rolled his eyes at Sirius that he took to mean _they do this all the time_. "Are you new?" he asked, stepping around the wrestling twins and extending his hand. "I'm Frank by the way. These idiots are Gideon and Fabian Prewett."

Sirius shook the hand offered to him and gave a tentative smile. "Sirius Black. I'm visiting my uncle for the summer."

"Do you mean Dr. Black?" one of the twins asked, whipping his head around to look at Sirius.

"The one with the wicked motorbike?" the other twin asked.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah. Well, I know he works on them for fun anyway."

The wrestling ceased. "Does he ever let you ride one?"

"He promised to show me how when I was older," Sirius said with a shrug.

The two brothers shared a long look wherein there was more chin stroking and narrowed-eyes as they communicated silently to one another. "I guess you're not a tosser," Gideon said, finally breaking eye contact with his brother.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh, so glad I have your approval."

"Approval?" Fabian said. "No, I'm afraid you haven't quite earned our approval."

"That's right. Alphard is cool. But just because you're related to him does not make you cool by default."

"Indeed not. That must be earned, my little sunflower."

"Sunflower?"

"What do you think, Frank?"

Frank glanced between the three boys, his brow furrowed, and then up at the house behind them. Three identical grins formed on their faces that Sirius thought boded no good. Frank turned to face him. "If you're going to be staying in Hogsmeade for the summer, you really ought to meet its most famous resident."

"Up close and personal," Fabian agreed.

Gideon smirked. "Unless you're scared that is."

"Why should I be scared?" Sirius asked, glancing over their shoulders at the dark windows that were still unbroken despite the efforts of rambunctious young men.

"It's haunted," Gideon said and Sirius heard the hint of a challenge in the statement. He looked back at the boys. They shared a significant look between each other but they were not smiling.

"Really?" he asked skeptically. What kind of idiot did they take him for?

"Really," Frank said, his voice deadly serious. "Something bad happened here once."

Sirius made a soft tutting noise. "Just because something bad happened doesn't mean it's haunted."

"True," Fabian conceded. "People have been talking about this house for ages. It's creepy isn't it?" He moved until he was standing just in front of the padlocked gate and beckoned Sirius closer.

Sirius followed and wrapped his hands around the rough iron grill. It certainly was creepy. He got the impression it held a terrible secret. Frank had said something bad happened.

"It's almost like it's watching you," Gideon said coming up to his other side. "Like it's alive."

"Like it can see you," Sirius said, nodding. He definitely had that feeling. The hair on his arms and the back of his neck prickled.

"They say," Frank whispered, leaning closer to Sirius, "they say on some nights, when the moon is full, you can hear screaming. The Shrieking Shack. That's what they call it."

Gideon clapped him hard on the shoulder and gave a small chuckle when Sirius jumped. "To prove yourself you must go and knock on the door."

"I don't need to prove myself to you!"

"Oh look he _is_ scared!"

"I'm not scared!"

"Then prove it."

He scowled at the three boys but nodded all the same. "Fine, I'll do it," he said, and made to move towards the gate but Gideon held out a hand to stop him.

"Not so fast. It has to be tonight. If you knock on the door, you'll earn our respect."

"What?"

"Well where is the challenge if you do it now in broad daylight?"

Sirius opened his mouth to respond when the sound of a horn beeping made the four boys spin around. Alphard waved from the front of the car. The man really had the most atrocious sense of timing.

"Hi, Dr. Black!" Gideon called, throwing an arm around Sirius's shoulders casually and leaning to whisper in his ear. "So are you a chicken or what?"

He knocked the arm from his shoulders and glared. "I'm not a chicken. I'll see you tonight," he said and joined his uncle in the front seat of the car.

"I thought I saw you going this way when I was leaving the Mckinnons," Alphard said as he pulled away from the curb and down the street. "Met some of the village children, did you?"

"Yeah."

"Excellent. Things will probably get very dull after a while, I'm sure. You should make some friends while you're here."

As they drove out of the village in Alphard's car, Sirius caught a glimpse of the broken house in the distance.

"Al, what do you know about that house down there?" he asked, turning his neck awkwardly to keep it in view.

Alphard glanced in his mirror and frowned. "That's not really a story for children," he said, and Sirius lost sight of it as they turned the corner.

oOo

" _Just as well—he probably wouldn't have told it right anyway. Not many people do. Mostly because not many people know what actually happened or why we even call it the Shrieking Shack."_

oOo

Sneaking out after Alphard had passed out on the sofa beside an open book and an empty tumbler of scotch had been much easier than Sirius expected. He gave his uncle a fond pat on the head before stealing into the shed to retrieve one of the bicycles Al kept for him and Regulus on their infrequent visits. He didn't fancy walking to the village in the dead of night.

Nearly a half hour later Sirius was pedaling into the empty streets of the village. Old-fashioned gas lamps hooked into electrical systems spilled orange light into the street and cast corners and alleys into shadows. A strange knot began twisting itself into Sirius's stomach but he pushed it resolutely aside. He wasn't scared after all.

His thirteen-year-old's pride stung bitterly as he pedaled his bike through the village. "Choose your battles wisely" his father had always said. Well he wasn't going to back down. His parents might frustrate him from time to time but they did offer interesting advice occasionally. Never show an enemy you're scared. Maybe these boys weren't enemies. In fact, Sirius imagined they'd get along famously once this little ritual was over and done with. But until then, Sirius felt it prudent to heed the advice of his father.

"You actually showed up," one of the red-haired twins said when Sirius approached.

He leaned his bike against the fence and shrugged. "Said I wasn't scared, didn't I?"

There were no lamps on this street. The house stood, broken and lonesome under the full light of the moon. Blue light threw the imperfections into stark relief and the dark windows looked like fathomless black tunnels. As annoying as he found this whole exercise, Sirius had to admit that Gideon had a point. It was much more intimidating at night.

"Right then," the other twin said, pulling something out of his pocket. He dangled a key tied to a long piece of twine in front of Sirius's eyes like a magician hypnotizing his victim. "The key to the padlock on the gate. All you have to do is knock on the door."

Frank frowned and nudged the boy's shoulder. "Where'd you even get that?" he asked, sounding less than impressed.

"Nicked it from the caretaker."

"I nicked it!" the other twin insisted. "Gid just distracted him while I snuck the key from his pocket."

"Joint effort then," Gideon conceded, charitably. "Oh, stop looking so disapproving, Frank, he has a spare."

He dropped the key into Sirius's outstretched hand and stood back with a small bow towards the gate. "After you, good sir."

Sirius fitted the key in the lock and it popped open with a snap. A long screech like metal screaming rented the quiet street as the gate swung open and Sirius winced at the sharp sound. The nervous knot in his stomach gave a massive lurch but he strode forward, through the gate, his head held high.

The house was huge and menacing from this side of the fence. The dark cracks in the foundation looked like seeping wounds, and the earlier memory of the injured rabbit was replaced with a slavering beast ready to pounce should any one venture close enough. And still he strode forward with more confidence than he actually felt.

Creaky stairs protested his weight as he stepped up to the door. Loud whispers from the boys behind him carried across the yard but were too indistinct to make out. No doubt they were impressed Sirius had made it this far. His courage bolstered and before he had a chance to consider it further he raised one fist and knocked three times on the ancient wooden door.

The sound echoed loudly on the other side and for a wild moment Sirius stood, his eyes on the handle, as if expecting an answer.

"Way to go, Black!" one voice called.

"Told you he was alright."

There. He'd done it. His ego still prickled slightly but at least he would not have to deal with the alternative of being known as the boy who was too scared to knock on a door. He turned and made to walk back to lord his victory over the others when a soft click and the sound of hinges creaking stopped him short.

The door was standing ajar, dark shadows scowling at him from within as if angry for being disturbed in the dead of night by bothersome children. Surprise and then something like fear registered before Sirius clicked his tongue in annoyance and turned back to the three boys still standing by the gate.

"Is this you lot too then?" he called across the yard.

"Is what us?" a red-haired boy asked.

He jerked his thumb towards the open door. "Think I'm afraid to actually go in?"

The same red-haired boy turned to the other. "Gideon, what is he talking about?"

"Haven't the foggiest, my dear. Talk sense, Black!"

He gave an irritated huff and took one purposeful step towards the open door. The things one had to do for their reputation.

"Oh my God, is he going in?"

"Sirius, don't!"

He nudged the door open wider and threw a careless smile over his shoulder at the shocked faces of the three boys. "Who's scared now?" he asked before striding across the threshold.

oOo

" _Why is it called the Shrieking Shack?"_

oOo

Sirius plucked morosely at his bandaged wrist. He was bored. Since the night at the Shack, Alphard had hardly let Sirius out of his sight. As if the whole thing was his fault. It was those blasted twins who'd dared him to go up to knock on the door in the first place.

Alphard's voice carried through the open office door. "Stop picking at the bandage."

"Not picking at it," was Sirius's retort, even as he worried a long thread from the edge.

"I don't want to wrap it again. Just let it be."

"I'm bored, Al. I want to go outside."

He'd been holed up in Alphard's office for three whole days. He was certain he was going to die, either from boredom or by plucking his eyeballs out with the rather tempting jar of tongue depressors that Alphard had the good sense to shelve high out of his reach. Life was so unfair for the short of stature.

"Sirius, keep talking and I'll send you back to your mother."

Sirius gave a scandalized gasp as he rolled across the office in one of the wheeled chairs. "You wouldn't dare." He heard a snort of laughter. "Besides, she'll be just as hacked off with you that I managed to injure myself under your watch. Empty threat, old man."

He heard muttering that might have been "cheeky brat" and he smiled.

"Please, Al. I won't cause any more trouble. Just go for a walk."

There was a long silence as Sirius held his breath and then, "Fine. For the love of God go and get out of my hair. I've three patients this afternoon and I don't want you underfoot anyway."

"You're the best, Al."

"If I have to bandage that arm when you get back there will be hell to pay, little Black," Alphard called after him. But Sirius was already striding out of the door, heeding the siren call of fresh air and sunshine.

Once he was standing in the busy main street, however, Sirius was at a loss as to what to do next. From what Alphard had told him, Frank was serving a sentence in his father's shop for the remainder of the summer and the Prewetts were serving a sentence under house arrest for the rest of their lives for the fiasco at the Shack three nights previous. He felt a little guilty that all three boys were punished so severely but, then again, they were not forced to spend the night alone in the house.

He rubbed the bandage on his wrist idly trying very hard to put the memories of that night out of his mind but being unable to do just that. He was embarrassed as he recalled how he'd panicked when the door swung firmly shut behind him, his eyes wide as he tried to make out shadows moving in the dark.

" _This isn't funny you guys!" he shouted through the door, pulling on the handle, but it did not budge._

_Pounding footsteps on the stairs and loud thumping on the door._

" _Black? What the hell? Why won't it open?"_

" _How'd you even get in there? This door's always been locked."_

" _Who cares just get me out!" he shouted as he pulled, in vain, on the handle again._

" _Go check the back door," someone ordered._

" _It's boarded up! You know that."_

" _Fuck!"_

_Silence stretched for ages. His pulse thrummed loudly in his ears. What was happening out there?_

" _I'm getting the caretaker," someone said finally._

" _No! Frank, our parents will kill us!"_

" _So what? This is your fault anyway."_

" _He's right, Gid. We can't leave him."_

_Sirius slammed his fist against the door. "Damn right you can't leave me! I don't care who you have to get just get me out of here!"_

" _Just hang on, Sirius. We'll be back."_

_The sound of bickering and footsteps faded and Sirius was left alone. In the dark. He tried the handle again, pulling with all his might but the door remained closed._

_Around him, sounds of wood groaning and creaking in the wind inspired images of a large monster digesting its meal._

_Oh God._

_Keep it together, Black._

_Out of the corner of his eye a shadow moved. No. It was just the light coming through the boarded windows._

_He took a deep breath, tasting the dust on the air. Another shadow shifted and this time he heard...was it footsteps?_

" _Who's there?" he asked, his voice sounding loud and just a little too high in his ears. He received no response._

_Well, of course not, you silly person. It's just your mind playing tricks._

_But his mind was a much trickier thing than he gave it credit for because he was certain something was moving towards him. His head whipped around as he caught movement just in his peripheral again. Could there be an animal that got inside some how?_

_That shadow looks like a person._

" _Hello?" he said tentatively, groping blindly towards the shadow. His hand met nothing but cold air, but he was sure he sensed something stir just out of his reach._

_An icy fear flooded his veins, and it was several moments before he realized it wasn't his own. What ever was in the room with him was radiating fear like a furnace._

" _It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." What was he saying? There was nothing there. "There's no such thing as haunted houses," he said firmly, but he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince, himself or the thing in the room with him._

_Because there was definitely something there, watching him from the shadows. Both intrigued and frightened by his presence._

_Oh God, he was losing it. There was nothing there! Except there very clearly was. Something. Inching closer and closer. Sirius took several steps back and jostled an ancient side table that collapsed and fell to the ground, sending clouds of dust into the air. Sirius jumped and practically sprinted into the next room and up the stairs, away from shadow closing in on him._

_Some of the windows on the second landing were not shuddered, he was sure. Perhaps he could climb down? He ascended the stairs two at a time in his haste to get away and felt his heart leap into his throat when a soft bit of wood gave way and collapsed beneath him. He fell in a heap of splinters and wood back to the first landing, one loose floorboard hitting him hard in the head causing blinding white pain to flash behind his eyes._

" _Stay back!" he screeched at the rapidly approaching shadow-thing in the corner. Warm blood oozed from a wound on his forearm but that seemed to be the extent of the damage. The injury to his head hurt far worse. He crawled pathetically from the wreckage until he met the hard surface of a wall, leaning back against it, his eyes never leaving the following shadow._

_A different sort of darkness was beginning to take hold of him. Must stay awake. Frank and the others will be back soon. But despite his insistence to stay awake, his eye lids began to droop. He tried to focus on the shadow-thing across from him._

" _I'm not scared of you, you know," he told it, and giggled at what his friend James would say if he knew Sirius was talking to shadows. "You're jus a fig. Figment of my 'magination."_

_A strange sadness struck him suddenly and, like the frightened feeling earlier, he had the distinct impression it was not his own sadness he was feeling. Was the shadow-thing unhappy? Perhaps it didn't have many friends. It did live in a rather wretched home. Poor chap._

" _M sorry," he said, suddenly contrite. "You're not so bad. I'll be your friend."_

_It was moving closer again but Sirius hardly noticed for the spinning in his head. His chin bumped softly on his chest and he let his eyes drift close. "Hope you don mind me taking a sleep."_

_Soft warmth enveloped him like a friendly embrace and he heard a quiet whisper that might have been "sweet dreams" before he drifted off completely._

Sirius had never hallucinated before, so he had no basis for comparison, but he was willing to bet that last bit had been a hallucination of the worst sort, brought on by severe head injury and an over-active imagination. Or at least, that's what Alphard had said. But something had been there that night. He was sure of it. Certainly he had a creative imagination but it had seemed so real.

Perhaps his subconscious mind was taking him where he most wanted to go or perhaps some magical pull was drawing him towards it, but he found himself on the street leading towards the Shack.

He hesitated.

People were already looking at him strangely. The village of Hogsmeade was a small one and by now, all the locals had heard of what had happened. How Sirius had been pulled out, half conscious, by his uncle and Frank's father, mumbling about his shadow-friend. What would they say if they saw him hanging around again?

His moment of doubt passed when he remembered he didn't give a rat's backside what other people thought, and he was meandering down the street and towards his Rabbit House, as he'd secretly come to call it, before he had the time to second guess himself.

Why was he so excited to go back? He'd had rather vivid, some what horrific, dreams of being swallowed by darkness since that night. Why wasn't he more afraid? But the shadow-thing had been more afraid of him, hadn't it?

He quickened his pace but stopped short when he came upon another boy staring avidly up at the house. Sirius hesitated, unsure for a moment, but the sandy-haired boy must have heard him because he turned to regard Sirius curiously, his hands gripping the fence.

"You came back," he said with surprise.

Alphard had told him afterward that quite a crowd had gathered around when he was rescued. Had this boy been there? He certainly hadn't been in any state to remember but he supposed it was possible.

"You're the boy from the other day, aren't you?" the boy asked.

"Yes. You saw that?"

"I was there," the boy said curiously, his eyes flicking back to the crumbling walls.

"Right. I'm Sirius. Do you live around here?"

The boy said nothing in reply, simply continued his survey of Sirius, his large brown eyes roving over each of Sirius's features with frank interest. He began to feel uncomfortable under the scrutiny when the boy spoke again.

"Were you scared?"

"Scared?"

"The house….people are always saying things about it. How it's haunted. Were you frightened?"

"No. I mean, it's a spooky sort of house but I really don't believe in that sort of thing, you know?"

The boy looked puzzled. "Oh."

Awkward silence fell once more and Sirius smiled as he turned to go. What did he even come down here for anyway? "Well, it was nice meeting you."

"I'm Remus by the way. Remus Lupin."

"Well, Remus, see you around."

Remus frowned and waved sadly. "Yeah. See you."

Sirius hesitated again and huffed. Remus was a bit strange but he'd yet to meet any other kids his age and he did look rather lonely.

"Do you want to come with me? I was probably just going to wander around the village or something. Maybe we can find something fun to do."

"Together?"

"Sure."

The smile that lit the boy's face was truly something to behold, and Sirius decided he very much liked the way his features brightened at the suggestion. He nodded enthusiastically and wrapped one hand around his uninjured wrist, pulling him quickly back up the street. Sirius tripped once over his feet as he hurried to keep up with the other boy.

"Excellent! There is this wicked clearing in the forest by the lake I want to show you. I used to play there all the time when I was little."

Sirius threw a glance back at the house and Remus gave an insistent tug, drawing his attention back to the boy beside him.

"Nothing fun to do in that dusty old place," he said firmly.

Right.

"Lead on."

oOo

" _Well, after a while people forgot, or left the village. The details were lost over time. But whenever people tell the story, the one thing they remember, that stands out in their minds as if they can still hear it to this day, is the screaming."_

oOo

Over the next several weeks, Remus and Sirius had become nearly inseparable. Giving Alphard hardly more than a "see you later" when they arrived in the village every morning, he would practically sprint to the forest clearing and the poorly made fort they'd spent a chaotic three days building to meet Remus, who would already be drawing up plans for the days activities.

So far they'd read four books (Remus was quite adept at acting out some of the more adventurous parts, and forced Sirius to participate), went swimming in the lake (which Remus told him contained a giant squid that once ate a man whole), created a map of the village, and made themselves deliriously sick on chocolate purchased from Honeydukes.

Remus was funny and had a wild imagination that rivaled his own. He was quick to think of games or activities that usually involved playing pranks on various villagers whose only crime, it seemed, was they were unluckily enough to be going about their day when they crossed paths with the two boys.

In particular, the caretaker of the Rabbit House (Sirius had confessed his nickname for the house to Remus who agreed it was far better than Shrieking Shack) suffered at their hands most often. A cantankerous old man called Filch; he sneered meanly about troublesome boys breaking into private property and possessed a mangy cat that they'd spent one whole day trying to catch to sacrifice to the squid in the lake.

Making friends came easily to Sirius. Other students at his school, boys and girls alike, were always vying for his attention, wanting him on their teams for sports or to trying to sit next to him in lessons or at meals. A good much of it was due to the fact that he had a recognizable family name that was impressive in the right circles, which annoyed him immensely, but he had a terribly charming, magnetic personality and people just seemed to be drawn to him. While Remus had been no exception, Sirius felt like the sandy-haired boy was one of the few people who actually just liked him for him.

"So he is like your boyfriend or something?" James asked him on one of their frequent midnight phone calls.

"Ha bloody ha, Potter. Jealous?"

"Please. You just talk about him all the time."

"That's cos he's cool. Unlike you."

"I'm cool!"

"Whatever Spikey Head. You're just cool because you hang out with me."

oOo

Sirius pulled a face as Alphard continued his lecture on the proper use of a sled. Primarily that they should be used in winter, when there was snow, and not on the sloping hill and into the lake below. How were Sirius and Remus supposed to know there would be rocks?

"This will sting, I'm afraid," Alphard said as he applied a strong smelling substance to the fresh cut on Sirius's shin. Sirius did his best not to blink at the smart sting and felt his lips twitch as Remus made faces behind his uncle's back.

"Are you sure you're alright, Remus. No cuts or anything?" Alphard asked over his shoulder, though his eyes were on Sirius.

"No, sir," said Remus politely. Sirius rolled his eyes. Honestly, Al thought they were such babies.

Alphard finished securing the bandage on the cleaned wound and Sirius hopped from the examination table. "Thanks, Al! We'll be back by dinner." He moved quickly towards the door, Remus in tow.

A hand came down on both their shoulders. "Not so fast, little Black. This is the second time I've had to patch you up in two weeks."

He bit his tongue to keep from giving a smart retort. "We were just having fun. We won't do it again! Promise!"

Putting his best puppy dog pout in place, he threw one arm around Remus and turned pleading eyes on his uncle. He almost laughed when he saw Remus do the same out of the corner of his eye.

Alphard gave a reluctant chuckle. "He's got you doing it too. Lovely. Go on. If you come back in here with more than a scrape—"

"Yeah, yeah, hell to pay. C'mon, Remus."

oOo

" _Let me start at the beginning, I'm getting a little ahead of myself. It started with a simple case of theft and a man some people called The Wolf."_

oOo

Some days found the two boys indulging in a spot of laziness, lying flat on their backs in the forest clearing watching the clouds floating above—"It's not a dragon, you tit! It's obviously a pirate ship!"—or telling each other stories about their families and friends.

Well, Sirius at least had divulged a great deal about his life to the other boy who listened attentively and laughed in all the right places. Remus shied away from the more personal questions himself, but Sirius was untroubled by this. He had a captive audience in Remus and that was enough.

Not that Remus was quiet. Far from it actually. Sirius often wondered if the boy had an off-switch. Remus talked at length about everything from the mundane to the fantastic with all the energy and enthusiasm of a thirteen-year-old boy who, Sirius suspected, had few people to share such thoughts with and was pleased to finally have someone willing to listen.

"Have you ever seen a fairy?"

"No."

"My mum always used to tell me stories about fairies. I always wanted to see one."

"Fairies aren't real, Remus"

"But you've never seen one." Sirius shook his head. "So then you can't prove they're not real."

Sirius opened his mouth to argue and then closed it abruptly. There was an interesting sort of logic to that.

"You always have an answer for every thing, don't you?"

"It's part of my charm."

"Hmph."

oOo

"Please, Al! It's just for one night!"

"Don't you think you've had enough midnight adventures for one summer?"

"But Remus says his parents let him camp out all the time!"

"Does he? And why doesn't your little friend want to spend the night here? Did you even ask?"

"I did but we want to hang out just me and him."

"Afraid I'll gatecrash your little sleep over?"

"It's not a sleep over! It's a camp out!"

"Don't get huffy or I'll change my mind about letting you go."

"You mean I can?"

"When have you ever known me to say no to you?"

"You're the best, Al."

"Sirius…"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing. Have fun."

oOo

"No…just there. To the left." Sirius grasped Remus by the hand and guided it above them, tracing the serpentine pattern in the sky. "That one is Draco. The dragon."

"Draco," Remus repeated, as if cataloging it to memory.

"That one," he pointed again, tracing the pattern of the next constellation, "is Hercules. You know him, right?"

Remus nodded. He glanced over at Sirius lying beside him in the small forest clearing they'd claimed as their own. "How do you know all of these?"

"Family tradition. We're all up there some where." He pointed to a bright star high above them. "That's Andromeda. I have a cousin named after her. She's wicked."

Star and moonlight shone down on the two boys, nestled warmly in blankets and pillows Sirius had borrowed from Alphard's linen closet. Hot chocolate and candles (Alphard threatened death if they so much as thought of lighting a fire) kept them warm as Sirius continued to point out familiar stars and constellations to Remus who, he was surprised to discover, knew nothing about astronomy. Remus just seemed to know so many things. It was nice to impart the knowledge he'd gained in his childhood.

Remus, for his part, was gazing in open wonder at the stories written in the sky above him. "Where is Sirius then?"

He leaned up on one elbow looking sincerely into brown-eyes sparking with moonlight and poked Remus on the nose. "Right here, of course."

The response from Remus was to shove a pillow in his face. A fierce pillow fight ensued in which there was much giggling, fierce cries of war, and mouths full of feathers. They only stopped when an errant pillow knocked the thermos of hot chocolate over and both boys spared a moment to lament their loss.

"Can't see Sirius this early," he said, continuing their previous conversation, slightly breathless from their pillow antics. "Should be able to see it just as the sun is rising. For now you'll just have to make do with me."

"Pity."

"Hey! I'm just as pretty as the real thing I'll have you know," Sirius preened and Remus shook his head.

"Guess there's no Remus up there, huh?"

"Sorry, mate. There is a constellation dedicated to the wolf though. Lupus."

"What about the moon?"

"The moon isn't a star, Remus," Sirius said patiently.

"I know that, but my family is named for the wolf. And what do wolves do?"

Sirius quirked a brow. "Surely you don't mean…"

Leaping to his feet, Remus cupped his hands to his face and gave his best impression of a wolf howl. It rang loud and true and Sirius thought he might have seen an owl take off in fright. Or possibly it saw something tasty. He couldn't be sure. Sirius leaned up on his elbows, looking at Remus as if he were a madman.

"C'mon, Sirius! Let's howl at the moon!"

Sirius gave him a dubious look but allowed Remus to help him to his feet. With a prod in the shoulder by the brown-haired boy he took a deep breath and threw his head back, giving a long, loud howl. Remus followed quickly with another howl of his own and pretty soon they were matching each other, howl for howl, growing louder and more fearsome. In the distance they could hear several dogs barking. Remus was positively vibrating with excitement and his eyes shone almost yellow in the light.

"Has anyone ever told you you're mad?" Sirius asked as they lay back down for the night.

"You'd be the first," Remus said, eyes closed as he snuggled into the pillow.

"Well in that case, let me state, for the record: You are mad, Mr. Lupin. Stark raving, even!" Sirius said and poked Remus on the nose again.

One brown eye opened to survey him critically. "If I'm mad, what does that make you?"

oOo

" _The Wolf…well he wasn't a nice guy. A swindler or conman you might call him. He came to the village one day, years ago, after someone's house was robbed. Said he'd heard about a break-in and he was an inspector of sorts. Offered to examine people's homes to make sure they were up on security. Showed them how easy it would be for someone to break in and offered his services to renovate their homes."_

oOo

Before he knew it, and much to his dismay, Sirius's visit to the village of Hogsmeade was coming to an end. Time had passed so quickly he'd hardly realized he was due back home in London at the end of the month to prepare for that start of the new school term. He was certainly excited to see James and Peter again but he would miss his new friend.

Remus kicked at the water. They were sitting on the dock of the lake, soaking their feet in cool water, sharing an apple between them. "I wish you didn't have to leave next week," Remus said, passing the piece of fruit back to Sirius.

"Yeah. Me too." Sirius took a generous bite. "It's too bad your parents don't send you off to school. You and James would get along. And Peter isn't a bad sort either. We'd terrorize the school, the four of us."

"It must be fun. Getting to be with your friends all the time." Remus kicked his feet again, ripples of blue water breaking the pinkish orange of the setting sun reflected in its surface.

The energetic boy of the last few weeks had slowly begun to losing his momentum. Ever since Sirius mentioned he would be leaving soon. The life seemed to go out of him. He was paler, his eyes were a little less bright, and he was frowning far more than he smiled lately. Sirius had done his best to try to cheer the boy up, thinking of new games and things to do to distract themselves from their inevitable parting of ways.

"You won't," Remus began, staring into distance. Sad brown eyes met his. "You won't forget me will you?"

Sirius swung his leg, splashing water towards the soppy git beside him. "Don't be daft."

Remus opened his mouth to respond and Sirius promptly stuck the remainder of the apple between his teeth before he could let loose any more sentimental rubbish. Honestly. Of course Sirius wouldn't forget him. Like he needed to ask. Remus bit into the apple and tossed the remains in the lake. The core hit the water with a loud _plunk_.

"Wasted opportunity," Sirius remarked with a click of his tongue.

"Shut up, Black, or I'll chuck you in next."

Sirius flung himself backward, lying flat on the wooden planks. His feet were still dangling over the edge, tracing water between his toes and he cradled his head on his arms behind him. Remus copied the movement and they were silent for a long time.

"Look," Remus gestured with his chin to the sky, rapidly turning purple with every second. One white star was twinkling brightly above them. "Another one of your relatives?"

Sirius shrugged. "Most likely."

"Make a wish?"

"A wish?"

"Maybe my family didn't name themselves after stars but we have our own traditions. I always used to make wishes with my mum and dad."

"Did they ever come true?"

Remus placed a finger to his lips, silencing Sirius, and closed his eyes. A smile was twitching the corners of the other boy's lips as he made his wish, caramel colored lashes fanning his cheeks, his brow furrowed in concentration. He glanced back at the star, winking down at him from billions of light years away. Could his wish really reach that far?

Closing his eyes he tried to summon… well he wasn't quite sure what. His information on star-wishing was sketchy at best. What did he want to wish for? A dozen shallow desires flickered through his mind. He dismissed those immediately. What he really wanted was to stay. Or for Remus to come with him. He wasn't ready to lose his new friend yet. The star was still shining bright above him when he opened his eyes. It hadn't exactly been a formal wish but it would have to do.

"Do you think you'll come back next summer?"

Remus was looking at him, unabashed hope was written in his features. Whether or not his wish would carry across space to the star to grant his wish, he had it in his power to make sure it came true. He shot Remus a dazzling smile.

"Definitely."

oOo

" _One of the villagers was a man called Lupin. He was a carpenter and he built nearly half the homes in this village. He didn't think The Wolf was trying to help. He said The Wolf was the real thief trying to scare people out of their money."_

oOo

"Hullo, Rabbit House."

Taking one long final drag on the cigarette before stubbing it out beneath his boot, Sirius glared up at the derelict house. Five years had not changed it much. Perhaps a little greyer. A little more weather-worn. It stood, muted by the grey clouds swirling overhead.

It seemed smaller some how. Perhaps it just seemed larger at thirteen. But he was eighteen now and, while he'd grown a great deal, the house had not. Why did he suppose it should have?

Someone had finally managed to break the second story widow judging by the new planks of wood nailed over it. For some reason, this upset him immensely. Why couldn't people just leave the damned house alone? It wasn't hurting anyone. Just let it rot in peace for Christ's sake!

"Fancy seeing you here."

Sirius spun on his heel at the sound of the voice speaking. Leaning against the fence, shoulders hunched, golden-brown hair falling into his eyes, was Remus Lupin. Sirius felt himself beginning to smile in spite of himself. Fuck, did he need to see a friendly face right about now.

But Remus was not smiling.

This took Sirius by surprise. Not him too.

Five years had changed Remus considerably. He was positively skinny, nothing more than sharp angles in a threadbare sweater. Dark shadows hung beneath his eyes and the hollows of his cheeks giving him a haunted appearance. The soft, brown eyes he remembered were nearly black and hard as steel. What on Earth had happen since Sirius left five years ago?

He tried for cheer all the same. "Remus!" The boy glared at him, his arms crossed defensively across his chest. "It's been a while."

"It has," Remus agreed.

"It's good to see you, mate." And it was, though this creature was a far cry from the boy he expected and the reunion he'd been hoping for was just as crushed as the cigarette under his heel at this point. Still there had to be something left to salvage. Remus had sought him out after all. How'd he even know Sirius was here? "I was going to look you up when I got settled in."

"Were you?"

"Yeah. We have a lot to catch up on I imagine." The hard glare Remus was giving him was starting to make him uncomfortable. He cleared his throat. "Er…so what have you—" the sound of his mobile phone beeping in his pocket cut him off. He glanced at the name flashing from the screen and sighed in annoyance. It had not even been one whole day and Regulus was already hounding him. "Just a sec, Remus." He flipped the phone open. "Hey, Reg."

"When are you coming home?"

"C'mon, Regulus…"

"She's been asking for dad since you left and she's shouting at the kitchen staff."

Sirius rubbed his eyes wearily. "She always asks for dad. Look, just have them make some calming tea. I'll be back in a few days. Soon as I'm done sorting out Al's house. Okay?"

He could hear Regulus sighing on the other end of the phone. "Yeah, alright."

"It'll be fine, Reg. Call Andromeda if she gets really bad."

"Mother hates Andromeda," Regulus snorted.

"I know but Andy won't take her shit and it usually helps. Keeps the heat off your back for a minute anyway." He turned back to find the spot Remus had previously been occupying now empty. "I'll call you later, Regulus."

"Sirius wait—"

He flipped the phone shut and scanned the street but Remus was no where to be found. Wonderful. He glanced back up at shuttered windows with a scowl. "Just wonderful," he muttered as he stormed back up the street.

oOo

The Three Broomsticks was lively for a Tuesday afternoon. Sirius sipped his drink slowly and tried to put his disappointment out of his mind. He'd spent the better half of the afternoon after his meeting with the real estate agent scouring the village for Remus, but had received little more than bewildered looks whenever he asked.

"Sirius Black, wasn't it?"

He looked up from the napkin he was shredding into a familiar smiling face. "Frank?"

"He remembers!" Frank reached across the bar to grasp his hand briefly.

"Hard to forget a bloke who locks you in an abandoned house over night."

Frank rolled his eyes and resumed wiping glasses. "You know people still talk about that?"

"Do they?" Sirius asked with surprise.

"You're something of a legend. I've heard parents tell their kids they'll make them sleep in the Shack like mad Sirius Black when they misbehave."

"No kidding?"

"We certainly like to make up stories. Especially about that house." Frank placed the glass he was wiping down on the counter and reached for another. "Can I get you anything else?"

Sirius heaved a sigh. "You don't happen to know where I can find Remus Lupin by chance."

"Lupin?"

"Skinny bloke. Mess of brown hair. Looked a little ill when I saw him yesterday."

A look of comprehension dawned on Frank's face followed by a frown. "You said his name is Lupin?"

"Yes. Remus Lupin." Why was it that no one seemed to know him?

"I've seen a boy like that wandering around the village. Keeps to himself mostly, but—"

The sound of Sirius's phone beeping interrupted whatever Frank was about to say next. Sirius frowned at his brother's name flashing across the screen. Ignoring it, he shoved his drink away and stood.

"Look, if you see him will you let him know I'm looking for him?"

"Of course." Sirius dropped a few coins on the bar and made to leave. "Hey, Sirius?" Frank was giving him a sad smile. "I'm sorry about your uncle. He was a good man."

Sirius gave him a tight nod. "Thanks."

oOo

" _Well, the other villagers knew and respected Mr. Lupin, so naturally, they began turning this wolf fellow out."_

oOo

Almost as if he'd known all along where to look, Sirius found himself walking the familiar path to the forest clearing where he'd spent half a summer when he was thirteen. Remus was there, nudging a piece of crumbled wood from the fort they'd built ages ago.

He cleared his throat. Remus turned to look at him, his pale face unreadable. "Hey," Sirius said after a moment of tense silence. Genius, Black.

"Hi."

Awkward silence fell once more. Sirius mentally scolded himself for expecting…what exactly? Excitement? Well, yes, actually, he thought, a little affronted. Remus had been a bouncing, bubbling, ball of energy the last time they were together. So many things had changed; he hadn't realized how much he was counting on Remus to bring him out of his slump with a funny story and a smile. He knew it wasn't fair and maybe a bit selfish but he was having a hard time caring just now. Right now he wanted—needed—the boy who made wishes on stars and howled at the moon.

"So what have you been up to?" he asked. Remus just shrugged and leaned against a nearby tree. Sirius bit back a frustrated growl. "Are you even happy to see me?"

"Should I be?"

"Well," Sirius fumbled, uncertain for a moment, "I thought you would be. I mean, we were friends, yeah? I—I'm happy to see you at least."

That had sounded better in his head. This was new to Sirius and he felt uncomfortably off-kilter. People usually clamored for his attention and here he was feeling awkward and stupid over a skinny nobody, frankly.

A hint of smile twitched the corners of Remus's mouth. "Really?"

Sirius jumped at the crack in the other boy's stony attitude. "Of course! Maybe we're a bit old for some of the things we used to get up to but I was really looking forward to seeing you again."

He sat on a fallen tree and watched as Remus hesitated before joining him, sitting far enough away so they were not touching. "Do you smoke?" he asked, pulling a package of cigarettes from his pocket. Remus shook his head. "I shouldn't." he said around the filter and clicked his lighter twice before it blazed to life. He took a long pull and exhaled slowly. "I know they're bad for you and my mother hates it but she won't stop me."

"Why do you do it if it's bad for you?"

Sirius shrugged. "I needed something that was mine, you know?" Remus only watched him silently. Clearly he did not know. "It's been a shitty couple of years," Sirius elaborated.

"Is that why you didn't come back?" Remus asked. He looked, for all the world, as if he were fascinated by the stormy clouds above but Sirius suspected he was avoiding his gaze.

"Did you miss me?" he asked, giving Remus a gentle pay-attention-to-me nudge with his toe and hoping very much that the answer was yes.

"Maybe." Remus shifted just a little further out of his reach and Sirius figured it was as close to a "yes" as he was likely to get.

"Here." He handed the half-finished cigarette to Remus, who took it hesitantly. "You look like you could use it."

He tried not to laugh as Remus coughed a large cloud of smoke, his cheeks flushing a pale pink, and hastily passed the cigarette back. "Sorry, forgot how much it burns if you're not used to it," he said patting Remus on the back. He took another pull before stubbing it out on a bit of moss clinging to the trunk beside him.

"My dad fell really ill," he said after a long pause. "Well, he was ill that summer but it got worse. He died just before we broke for Christmas."

Remus was finally looking at him. "Oh, Sirius..."

"Yeah. Anyway, I couldn't leave my mother and brother alone after that. I had to take care of them. Mum took it really bad and Regulus…he's just a kid."

"You were a kid too," Remus said kindly.

He gave a hollow chuckle. "You know, that's the same thing I kept thinking. Why wasn't anyone taking care of me?" Remus shifted closer. "Alphard, bless him, he tried to help but he wasn't too well himself."

An unexpected burning began prickling the back of his throat and he took several deep breaths trying to dispel the uncomfortable feeling. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing away the sudden wave of sadness, because like hell he was going to cry. Remus was beside him almost instantly placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He prepared himself for the pitying look he got from everyone else when they heard, but Remus offered nothing more than simple understanding.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked after several silent minutes.

"Like I said, it's been a shitty couple of years."

"I'd hoped we'd see each other again, you know, under better circumstances but…" he trailed off gazing at Sirius with a much softer expression than he'd worn since Sirius first met him the day before. "I am happy to see you."

"Me too. You've no idea how much."

oOo

" _So The Wolf left and no one ever expected to hear from him again."_

oOo

And suddenly it was like five years had never happened. Picking up his old friendship with Remus was as easy as breathing. Certainly time had taken its toll on the boy. His once bright outlook on life and the world in general had soured somewhat. His funny jokes had become a biting wit, but it suited him, and underneath a layer of bitterness there was a warmth that set Sirius's blood on fire.

He was no longer as free-spirited as before but he'd lost none of the sweet mannerisms that endeared him to Sirius in the first place. Truth be told, he was starting to find far too many things about Remus Lupin endearing in the few short days since he'd returned to the village to settle his uncle's affairs.

Remus's smile, though rare these days, was radiant and Sirius found himself pulling some of the more pathetic moves from _The Playbook of Mssr. James Potter: When a Certain Hot-Tempered Red-Head Walks By_ just to have another chance at seeing it. If he was very lucky he could even coax a laugh or two past the stubborn lips that were steadily making Sirius mad with desire as they worked through sorting Alphard's belongings.

He would never know how he would have got through it without Remus and his ever calming presence. He probably would have broken down completely as they stored, donated, and discarded the remnants of his uncle's life.

The breaking point almost came when he found a framed photo of himself and Regulus, front teeth missing and grinning for all it was worth, sitting astride a massive motorbike with their uncle standing in the back balancing the bike for them. His voice broke embarrassingly as he recounted the day the photo was taken. Remus immediately wrapped lanky arms around him in a tight embrace and whispered a soothing "It's okay" in his ear.

No one had comforted him so gently, even before his father's passing. It had fallen onto his reluctant shoulders to care for his family and so his own needs had gone by the wayside. Starved for affection as he was, he steadfastly ignored the guilty part of his brain that he was taking more than mere comfort from the other boy as he held him close and buried his face in fragrant brown hair.

It was turning into fifth form all over again. Here was another boy he had no business getting involved with. It wasn't enough that he had to deal with his deranged mother and needy little brother, the universe saw fit add even more onto his plate in the shape of a gorgeous boy he could easily fall head over heels for.

He'd tried desperately at age sixteen to ignore it, but by seventeen he could lie to himself no longer. Letting himself fall for a boy two years his senior, a boy he knew was heading to university, was one of the dumbest things he'd ever done. When they'd said their goodbyes at the end of the school year, Sirius nursed a broken heart for an entire summer.

It didn't matter that Remus had creamy skin he was dying to taste or the most delectable dusting of freckles on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose and one even on his lower lip he dreamed of taking between his teeth. It didn't matter that Remus was kind and funny and clever or that he lifted Sirius's spirits effortlessly when they talked and laughed together. It didn't matter that his heart raced about his chest every time their skin made accidental (and sometimes not-so-accidental) contact so wildly that Sirius became concerned he'd inherited more than just money from his father.

None of those things mattered because he would be leaving in a week and Alphard's house would be sold. He was likely never coming back to the village of Hogsmeade. He resolved he would not make the same mistake again.

His resolve lasted three days.

oOo

Inevitably, the conversation he'd been dreading finally came up. He was surprised it took as long as it did. They were sitting in comfortable arm chairs, passing a bottle of some of the finest scotch money could buy—"Alphard would not have wanted it to be wasted"—between them as they watched rain splatter the window panes relentlessly. What a miserable summer it had turned out to be.

"What do you think happens when you die?"

There it was.

People untouched by death were always so keen to share their thoughts on the afterlife with the grieving. He'd managed to keep his tongue in check every time someone told him his father was "in a better place now" for the sake of his mother and brother but what the fuck did they know? Really? What place is better than with his wife and children who need him? he always wanted to ask. And, Alphard, who always treated him like a son and friend, who had such a lust for life, why was rotting in the ground any better?

Remus was not spouting platitudes for the sake of avoiding awkward conversation, he was sure, but he was still no more prepared to discuss it. He'd only had one real conversation about this with James the fall term after his father passed. James was not the most sensitive of boys but he was a good friend and listened without judgment and that was really all he needed at the time.

"Who can say?" he evaded and took a long swig of the copper-colored liquid.

"Do you think there's a life after death?"

"That's an oxymoron isn't it? _Life_ after death?"

"Why don't you want to answer the question?"

He slammed the tumbler onto the table. A few droplets splashed onto the waxy surface. "Because it doesn't matter!"

A warm hand wrapped around his wrist before he could leap to his feet and away from the conversation he was in no mood to have. Why did Remus have to ruin the good time they were having? Couldn't he tell Sirius did not want to talk about it?

"It does matter. Sirius…"

"Nothing happens. Okay? We just die, Remus. We stop"—he struggled to come up with the right words—"we just stop."

Wrenching himself free from the firm grasp Remus had around his wrist, he stormed toward the front door and out into the pouring rain. Within seconds he was soaked to the skin, droplets of water clinging to his eyelashes and the end of his nose. Behind him, the front door opened and closed once more, and he felt, rather than heard Remus come up beside him.

"Comforting, isn't it?" Remus asked over the din of the pounding rain.

"The rain?" he asked, dully.

"The notion that when we die there's nothing. No god to greet us. No family or friends. No paradise. Just empty nothingness. A dark room full of shadows."

A shiver ran through him. "How exactly is that comforting?"

"It's what you believe, isn't it? You tell me."

"I don't believe that. I don't believe anything." Sirius shook his head, scattering rainfall. "I just don't see the point. I can't pretend to take comfort in some made-up idea of God or an afterlife."

"How do you know it's made-up?"

"Remus…" He wanted to drop this. Hot, frustrated tears were mixing with the cold rain on his cheeks.

Remus slipped a hand into his. "Tell me."

Gripping the hand like a life-line, Sirius took several deep breaths full of rain water. "I can only believe in what I see. What is real. My father is dead. That's real. My mother has been slowly losing her mind since it happened. She can hardly tell me and Regulus from our father sometimes."

Remus remained silent but the hand twined with his gave an encouraging squeeze. Sirius continued. "I've been practically raising my brother and managing the household for the last couple years. Everyone needs me all the time. I don't even feel like my life actually belongs to me."

Rain was pounding harder around his ears. High above him, thunder was rumbling in disgruntled answer.

"And just when I think, I'm doing okay and I can handle it, the only adult I can turn to snuffs it. So yeah, actually, it is comforting. Because, if there's a god, he doesn't like me very much, Remus. And if there is nothing waiting for me when I die well…it'll be a nice change of pace."

"That's rather bleak."

"Maybe…. Or maybe it's not something you need to define or know to live a happy life."

"Are you living a happy life, Sirius?"

"I have my moments. Don't get me wrong, I feel…trapped. Sometimes I just want to run away from it all. But I trust the things I see. The things I feel. I have friends. Some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for." He turned to find Remus watching him intently. A mad beat was thrumming in his chest. "I've got you."

Remus frowned. "Sirius…"

A drop of water travelled down one freckled cheek, dangling precariously on Remus's lip. Leaning forward, Sirius captured the drop of rain and the pouty lip in a gentle kiss.

Remus's eyes were wide, surprised. Sirius swallowed around his stomach which had taken up residence in his throat and waited. An eternity passed between them.

"Are you scared" Remus asked finally, large brown eyes boring into his.

"Of this?" He gripped the hand holding his tighter and leaned in closer, their breath mingling in the rain falling between them.

"Of dying." Remus said. "If there is nothing waiting for us when we die, does it frighten you that this is it? Are you afraid to lose this?"

Their lips were a hairsbreadth apart.

"Terrified," Sirius admitted before closing the gap between them once more.

oOo

"What do you mean you're not coming back?"

"I mean I need more time."

"For what? How long can it possibly take to sort out Al's house?"

"It's not just Al's house, Reg. I need time for myself."

"I need time too, you know. You've abandoned me here! With _her_!"

"It's only one more week."

"Whatever. I hope he's worth it."

"I'll call you tomorrow."

"Bye."

oOo

" _Until one night."_

oOo

Sirius dumped an armload of blankets onto the bed in the guest room. "You're sure your parents are alright with you staying here?" he asked.

"It's not a big deal. I hate staying in the house if I can avoid it," Remus said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Similar conversations over the past week were starting to give Sirius the sneaking suspicion that all was not well in the Lupin household. At thirteen he'd never thought to question why Remus never asked him to stay over, they spent so much of their time outdoors. Even now, propriety dictated he should keep his nose out.

Remus carried himself like he was trying very hard not to be seen and his expression turned hunted when they weren't talking about Sirius or—as had become the norm for the last two days—snogging each other breathless against the nearest solid surface. Sirius was smart enough to know when to let it go but he would get Remus to open up eventually.

"I just don't want to have to answer to an angry father because I sullied his son's virtue," Sirius said, throwing himself onto the bed behind Remus. Remus knocked the hand currently insinuating itself beneath his shirt away with an impatient sigh.

"Who says you'll be doing any sullying whatsoever?" Remus asked, cheeks flushing brightly.

"I am rather good at it," Sirius insisted and hooked a finger through the loop of Remus's jeans. He gave an encouraging tug and pulled the other boy into his lap. "Are you sure I cannot tempt you into being…sulled?"

"I don't think you have that right—" Sirius cut him off with a quick kiss.

"Done talking now," he said, pushing Remus onto his back and kissing him soundly.

The kiss quickly turned hungry, both boys panting and moaning softly as their hands began to roam. Sirius rolled his hips against the other boy, groaning when he felt Remus arch up to meet him. Heat lanced through him as they continued to kiss, their bodies sliding together. He pulled away long enough to tear his shirt over his head, eager for more skin contact, and dove back for another plundering kiss, working the buttons on Remus's shirt frantically.

"No," Remus mumbled against his lips, pushing his hands away. "Sirius, wait!"

"Fuck!" Sirius swore loudly as he pushed the shirt away from Remus's chest. He drank in the sight of pale skin littered with faded scars. His stomach churned horribly. These were not accidental scrapes caused by reckless childhood antics. These were deliberate. Deep, jagged cuts meant to hurt.

Remus scrambled for the buttons of his shirt, hunching his shoulders in a vain attempt to hide his mutilated body. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? Remus!" He took a hold of Remus's wrists, stopping him from pulling the shirt back on. Gently, he pried the boy's arms away from his body to get a better look. He dropped one wrist and reached a hand out, hovering over the worst scar cutting clear across Remus's heart. "How did these happen?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Can't we just…" Remus ran a hand up Sirius's unmarred chest, cupping his neck and pulling him in for another kiss.

Sirius stopped him with a stern look. "Remus, is someone hurting you?"

"No."

"Remus…"

"Really. No one is hurting me," Remus said, shaking his head. "Not any more."`

"Was this happening the last time I was here?" Sirius asked, dazed.

"Please, Sirius. I don't want to talk about it. It's over."

Sirius closed his eyes briefly. The scars were still there when he opened them again. "Fuck, I'm sorry, Remus."

Lines formed on Remus's brow in confusion. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I was gone for so long. We were friends. I could have… I should have—"

"There was nothing you could do. This…" he gestured to his chest. "This happened a long time ago. Before we even met. I don't like thinking about it."

Sirius pushed the shirt off boney shoulders once more, noticing fewer scars on Remus's upper arms. His fingers pressed experimentally against the puckered scar tissue over Remus's heart and he felt the boy's sharp intake of breath against his palm.

"I never would have let anyone hurt you," Sirius promised, gazing into dark brown eyes.

Remus actually smiled. "Are you my hero, then?"

Sirius leaned forward, running his lips along the hollow of Remus's throat. "Hmm, I've got a shiny, two-wheeled steed and every thing. Have I won the fair maiden's heart?"

A warm chuckle ghosted across his ear. "Mayhap. Pray tell, what are your intentions, Mr. Black?"

"Perfectly dishonorable, I assure you," he said as his hands drifted southward, landing on a cold belt-buckle. "I believe I mentioned sullying your virtuous…er…virtue."

Soft lips met his briefly. "Sull away, my prince."

oOo

Sirius toyed with a lock of hair behind Remus's ear, contentment humming in his chest. He felt a smile pressed against his collar bone. A giddiness he'd not felt in ages, not even during fifth when he fancied himself smitten with the head boy, stole through him.

"Would you think I'm crazy if I said I might be in love with you?" he whispered.

Remus did not respond.

He glanced down to find Remus fast asleep.

"No?" he asked, getting nothing but sleepy silence in return. "Good."

Sirius hugged the other boy close and planted a kiss in his hair. "Because I think I might be in love with you."

oOo

Sirius spent the next week in such a state of bliss he had to keep pinching his arm to remind himself he was awake. He hadn't felt this happy for longer than he cared to think of.

Remus.

The name was like a spell. His face split into a delirious grin just thinking it.

It wouldn't last. He had enough presence of mind to know that. He was delaying returning home as much as he could. This bubble of happiness he'd created for himself would burst eventually and, instead of simply returning to a life he'd begun resenting, he would once more have to face the reality of a broken heart.

Still, he couldn't bring himself to end things any sooner than he absolutely had to. Even rowing with Regulus over his extended stay was not enough to change his mind.

"It's not as if you'll be going back there ever again!"

"You never know."

"Look, I don't care how pretty his eyes are, Sirius! You have an obligation to this family! Or have you forgotten?"

"I haven't forgotten! My _obligation_ to this family is the reason I'm here in the first place! Bloody hell, you sound more like father every day."

"Well one of us has to!"

"Goodbye, Regulus."

Sirius sulked for a full hour after his argument with Regulus, flipping the phone open and closing it abruptly, as if waiting for it to ring so their shouting match could recommence. Eventually, Remus took the phone and removed the battery before leading Sirius outside into a sunny day.

They ended up beneath a shady tree beside the lake, Sirius reading aloud from one of the books he'd been assigned over the summer, Remus's head cradled in his lap.

"Not hear it?—Yes, I hear it, and _have_ heard it. Long—long—long—many minutes, many hours, many days, have I heard it—yet I dared not—oh, pity me, miserable wretch that I am!—I dared not—I _dared_ not speak! _We have put her living in the tomb!_ —"

"He's right, you know," interjected Remus, suddenly.

Sirius floundered for a moment, still caught up in the momentum of the story. "Er…who is right?"

"Your brother." He rose and leaned back against the trunk of the tree, pulling his knees to his chest. "You're leaving here soon and we'll probably never see each other again."

Sirius marked the page in his book and laid it down, considering his next words carefully. "Well, that might be true but I've been thinking about it and…"

"And?"

"This doesn't have to end when I leave."

"Sirius…"

"I've decided not to sell my uncle's house."

"What?"

"I'm gonna keep it. It's nice and I like it here. Why not keep it?"

"You've school, for one thing."

"Yeah, I know. I have to go back for one more year but I can come back next summer."

"And then what? Aren't you planning on attending university?"

"Well, you must be going to university too. Maybe we could try for the same schools or—"

"No," Remus said, firmly. "Sirius, you can't…rearrange your life around me."

"It's my life to do with what I want!" he said, instantly regretting his harsh tone. He wasn't angry with Remus. Remus only glared. "Look at me however you want but my mind is made up. I'm not selling the house."

"I thought you'd be happy," Sirius said after several moments of silence.

Remus stared down at his knees, his brow furrowed. "I am. This has been wonderful, Sirius. It's a dream come true." Pleading brown eyes locked onto his. "I've been alone for so long and you show up and you make me your friend. I'd never been happier. Then you left just as quickly as you'd come. You were gone for so long…"

"I wanted to come back."

"I know, and I understand why you couldn't. And that's the problem, Sirius. You have a life. You may not think it's much of one but you do. You have friends and family who need you. You have a future—"

"Oh, yes," he cut in, resentfully, "filling my mother full of pills and keeping my idiot brother out of trouble. Such a bright, shining future."

"At least you have one!"

"And you don't?"

Remus was silent. They were dancing on the edge of whatever secret Remus was keeping, Sirius knew. The thing that put the bitter twist in Remus's smile and the shadows in his eyes. "It's not like you have to stay here if you don't want to, you know? You're clever. You can do whatever you want."

"Like you?" Remus countered.

"Yes! For the first time, my eyes are open. I know what I want and what I'm going to do about it." Sirius brought a hand up to brush his thumb along the lip Remus was worrying between his teeth. He placed a kiss on the reddened flesh and offered a warm smile.

Remus pushed the hand away. "Don't…"

Frustration and something resembling panic began filling his stomach. Didn't Remus understand what he was trying to tell him? He took Remus's face in his hands and kissed him deeply, ignoring the half-hearted protests of the other boy as he tried to back away. Placing his hands on boney hips, Sirius pulled him closer and felt Remus melt against him after a moment, giving in.

He broke the kiss, taking a much need breath, and began peppering kisses on Remus's cheeks. His nose. Beneath his jaw. "Remus, I think I could…." He lifted the other boy's chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. "I think I may already lo—"

Remus silenced him with another kiss.

"Please, don't say it. If you say it…" Hair fell into his eyes as he shook his head and Sirius brushed it back, catching the tortured look in Remus's eyes. "Can't we just enjoy this week?"

He exhaled a long disappointed sigh but nodded. "Yeah. I'm sorry I brought it up."

Awkwardness fell between them. Sirius released the grip he had on Remus's waist, his hand falling on the book. He held it up in question. "Did you want to finish? We were just getting to the best part."

Remus settled beside him, nodding. Sirius cleared his throat and resumed his reading, Remus resting his chin on his shoulder.

" _We have put her living in the tomb!_ Said I not that my senses were acute? I now tell you that I heard her first feeble movements in the hollow coffin..."

oOo

" _It was a full moon—"_

" _Really? Lay it on a bit thicker, mate."_

" _Hey, this is the story I was told! Anyway, one full moon night, someone broke into the Lupin's house."_

oOo

Sirius shouldered his bag and hesitated outside the entrance to the waiting train. It would not wait forever, he knew, but he wanted to give it to the last possible minute.

Just in case.

He wasn't sure if Remus would show up. He'd made no promises about seeing Sirius off. His chest constricted painfully and he wondered if it was possible to hear the sound of one's own heart breaking. Remus's words kept replaying in his head.

"If you asked me to stay I would."

Sirius had just blurted the statement out as they sat the previous evening watching the stars like they'd done years ago.

"I can't. I won't. I can't keep you, Sirius. I've been so selfish thinking I deserve you more than others. You should go. Forget about me."

He'd tried to argue. Point out that it wasn't selfish to want to be with someone you cared about. Tried to make Remus understand it would be impossible for Sirius to forget he loved him.

Remus left without another word after that declaration and Sirius had lost him quickly in the dark forest. He'd been unable to find Remus in the village, even going so far as to hold a vigil at the Rabbit House on the off-chance Remus wandered by. They'd made their first encounter outside the crumbling house, after all. It seemed fitting somehow that he should find Remus there, but he had not.

"Are you getting on, or what?" a man walking beside the train asked him. "Train will be leaving any minute now."

Not quite trusting his voice, he nodded and moved to board the train. Even his feet were reluctant to leave, dragging across the ground. He'd taken maybe three or four steps when he felt a tug on the back of his jacket.

"Wait."

"Better make it quick. The train will leave with or without you," the man said as he boarded.

Sirius spun around, dropping his pack to the ground. A pathetic whimper snuck past his lips as Remus embraced him tightly. He returned the embrace with equal fervor and buried his face Remus's hair. "I wasn't sure—"

"Shhh, you have to go," the other boy said in his ear. "I didn't mean the things I said last night. I don't want you to forget me." Remus pulled back to look him in the eye. "It's just…this will never work."

"We'll make it work!"

"It won't," Remus insisted, brown eyes full of anguish. "I wish it would. I feel alive when I'm with you. I don't want to lose that."

Forgetting he was in a crowded train station Sirius leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Loud banging on the window of the train and catcalls could be heard beside him. Ignoring this, and the pounding in his chest at his daring, he continued to kiss the other boy, determined to remind him how right this was. The familiar electricity he felt whenever Remus's lips touched his began pulsing through his veins. They fit together so perfectly. How could he just let it slip through his fingers?

Even if the train had not been leaving in any second, there would never be enough time to say goodbye. He broke the kiss reluctantly and touched his forehead to Remus's

"I'll write. And I'll be back next summer. I promise."

"Go." Remus gave him a shove towards the train.

He watched from a window until the station fell away and he could no longer see the brown-haired boy waving. Turning away from the window he began looking for an empty seat.

"Buck up, mate," someone said through an open compartment door. "You won me twenty quid! I told you his love would show."

oOo

" _They had this little boy, no more than five or six years old. He was Mr. Lupin's pride and joy."_

oOo

James Potter disembarked from the train with the exuberance of a small child who'd eaten too much chocolate and the determination of a madman just out of prison.

"Right then," he said clapping his hands and rubbing them together. "Where's this bloke that broke my best mate's heart so I can kick his arse?"

He heard a snort of laughter and turned a glare on his sniggering girlfriend. "What, may I ask, is so funny?"

"Nothing, love" Lily said with an exasperated smile that turned to a frown when her eyes landed on Sirius.

It was James's personal opinion and private mission statement that there was nothing he couldn't do with enough persistence and courage. This included winning the heart of one stubborn Lily Evans, leading the school football team to victory for the third year in a row, and pulling Sirius—his best mate and brother from another—out of his lovelorn slump.

"So," he said, throwing an arm around his uncharacteristically sullen friend. "Where's this funny house you told us about? Not too scared to visit an actual haunted house are you, Pete?"

Peter rolled his eyes as he adjusted the straps of his pack. "Oh, yes. Terrified."

"It's in the village," Sirius said.

Lily had given him a thorough dressing down on the train for insisting they visit the village Sirius claimed to have so many fond memories of on their post-exam trip.

"He doesn't need to be reminded, _James_!"

"No, _Lily_ , he does! He needs to give this bloke a piece of his mind. And since he's ignored all the letters Sirius has sent, we're stopping."

A sharp, manicured nail dug into his chest. "You're picking up the pieces when he falls apart," Lily hissed before storming off.

He spared moment to admire her beauty when her anger was riled and turned his thoughts back to the more pressing matter of fixing his friend's love life.

"Well. Lead the way, Mssr. Black."

oOo

"Alright, I'll admit it's creepy," Peter said.

They stood outside the rusted iron fence of the Shrieking Shack. He told his friends the vague details he'd ascertained over the years. Something horrible happened in the shack once, apparently. How he'd spent a whole night in darkness—injured and delirious. How something dark and creeping had tried to get him.

He did not tell them of the sort of affection with which he'd come to regard the damaged building. It wasn't so bad. Just neglected. His poor little Rabbit House.

A long sigh escaped him and he pretended he was not looking for Remus as his friends made guesses as to how the Shack had come to be haunted. He thought back to the dozens of letters he'd written, pouring his heart out to the other boy. He'd been so stupid. So sick in love.

He'd tried to talk them out of this little pit stop on their trip, but the prospect of a haunted house was enough to convince his friends the stop would be worth it

When he was through sulking over James forcing him to go back to the one place he'd vowed never to return to, he decided the trip was actually a good idea. After a whole years worth of unanswered letters, Remus Lupin had a lot to answer for.

oOo

" _Now no one is really sure if he planned it this way—it could be he only meant to scare the Lupins and little Remus was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."_

oOo

Luck did not seem to be siding with Sirius. After paying a visit to the Shrieking Shack, Sirius led his friends on a quick tour of the village. He'd kept one eye out for a glimpse of brown hair but was disappointed when he found none.

They'd just decided to grab a meal and drinks at the Three Broomsticks when Sirius made up his mind.

"I need to make a quick stop." He ignored the pointed looks his friends shared. "I won't be long. If Frank serves you, tell him you know me."

"Are you sure you should—" Lily began, but James steered her into the bar.

"Sounds good," he said loudly, waving Sirius off. "See you in bit then."

Heading back the way they'd come Sirius rounded the corner and crossed the street to the small post office. A bell tinkled softly when he entered. The room was small but tidy and smelled of paper.

A red-haired man hurried in from a room behind the counter. "How can I help you?" he asked.

"I'm looking for a friend. Remus Lupin. Do you know where he lives?"

The man gave him a sharp look. "What's your name?"

"Sirius Bl—"

"Thought so!" The man disappeared behind the counter and reappeared with a stack of envelopes. "These'll be yours then."

Sirius took the stack and flipped through them. His own handwriting was instantly recognizable. The name Remus Lupin was written in black ink above the address for the Hogsmeade post office. He didn't have an address but the village was small enough, surely they could redirect his letter. Nervous hope began welling up inside him.

"He never got them?" Sirius asked.

"No one ever came to pick them up." Just as quickly as it had come, his hopes were dashed. "Of course it helps if you're writing to a person who actually lives here."

"What? But he does live here. I've spent whole summers with him in this village."

"And you've never been to his place?"

Sirius cleared his throat.

"Look, you seem like a nice lad. I'm not meaning to give you a hard time," the man assured him. "There is a family named Lupin that lives outside the village. They don't come into town much. Usually a housekeeper comes in to collect their mail but they kept leaving those. One of my boys took your letters out to them one day and had the door slammed in his face. The way I see it, if a Remus Lupin lived there, he doesn't any more."

Not for the first time, Sirius wondered about Remus's family situation. Were they preventing Remus from getting his mail? That could explain the long silence from the boy. But then, Remus knew where Sirius went to school and could easily have written if he wanted.

"I don't suppose you'd mind giving me their address?"

The man shifted from foot to foot, blue eyes surveying Sirius critically, before nodding and jotting something on a notepad by his elbow. He handed the slip of paper to Sirius with a warning. "Don't make me regret this."

Sirius nodded. He gave a polite "thank you" and left, tucking his unread letters into his pocket.

oOo

"Curse you, Black!" James yelled at his phone, punching buttons quickly. "He said not to wait for him."

"I still maintain this was a bad idea," said Lily said.

James resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "He wanted to come. I just gave him an excuse."

A tray of drinks was set down on their table. The bloke, Frank, had been delighted to meet friends of Sirius who, James was not the least bit surprised to hear, had quite a reputation around the village. Everyone seemed to know him, or know of him at any rate. One person at the bar gave a bark of laughter when James had given his name to Frank, calling Sirius mental, which James had to admit he agreed.

"No Sirius then?" Frank asked as he passed drinks around the table. James shook his head, waving his phone idly in the air.

"No he's off to give that bastard Remus Lupin a piece of his mind," he said, adding silently, 'or a piece of something else.'

Frank's amicable smile faded. "He's not still going on about Lupin is he?"

"Do you know him?" James asked, eager for information on the mysterious boy who'd captured his friend's heart and then so thoroughly shred it to pieces.

An uneasy look passed over Frank's face. "Kind of. It's complicated."

"Complicated how?" Peter asked.

"Well, you're not from around here so of course you don't know…" Frank said, his voice dropping as he glanced between the three friends.

They leaned forward.

"Know what?"

"Didn't Sirius tell you why people say the Shrieking Shack is haunted?"

oOo

When his heart rate returned to something approaching normal and his stomach ceased performing unwarranted acrobatics, Sirius wiped one sweaty palm on his jeans and rang the bell. Muffled chiming could be heard on the other side of the door.

Through blue tinted planes of glass, a distorted figure grew closer until the door clicked and swung open.

A petite woman stood in the threshold. Her hair was a familiar shade of golden-brown, though it was streaked liberally with grey. Brown eyes, that had seen more than their fair share of life, met his with an uncertain smile.

"Can I help you?"

"Mrs. Lupin?" he asked. The crease on her brow deepened. Sirius nearly laughed at the familiar puzzled expression.

"Yes."

"I'm looking for Remus. Does he live here?"

The polite uncertainty vanished instantly, replaced with a hard glare.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Sirius. Remus and I—"

"It's you!" she screeched. She was clutching the edge of the door so tightly her knuckles were white and Sirius fully expected her to slam the door shut. "What are you doing here? Why are you torturing us?" she asked, her voice growing louder with each word.

Sirius reeled back in surprise, completely caught off guard by her vehemence.

"I'm not torturing you, ma'am. Look, if Remus doesn't live here can you at least tell me how I can get in touch with him?"

"How dare you! How dare you!"

"Helen? Who is it?"

The door opened wider revealing a thin, elderly man who might have been Remus in thirty or forty years.

"It's him!" Mrs. Lupin spat, sounding close to tears. That boy that keeps sending letters to Remus!"

The man pried her hand from the door and placed a kiss on her knuckles. "Go on. I'll handle this."

Taking several deep breaths, she ran one shaking hand through her hair and stepped away from the door without meeting Sirius's eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset her."

"Please sit," the man said and gestured to a wooden bench to his left.

His stomach once more performing somersaults, Sirius sat. His hand landed on a series of grooves. Etched into the wood were the letters RJL.

"I nearly had a fit when I caught him at that," the man remarked

"You're Remus's dad?" Sirius asked tentatively.

He nodded and extended his hand. Sirius took it, feeling rough calluses on the otherwise soft skin. "John. And you're Sirius Black, correct?"

"Yes."

"You're the boy who was locked in our old house overnight all those years ago."

Sirius stared. "You own the Rabbit…er, the Shack?"

"Built it with my own hands."

"Remus never told me that."

Mr. Lupin removed his glasses, wiping them slowly on his vest. "Sirius…how is it you know Remus?"

"Come off it," Sirius laughed. Mr. Lupin waited patiently. "He—he never talked about me? We spent nearly a whole summer together that year I got stuck in the Shack."

He decided to leave out the events of the previous summer. If Remus, at thirteen, had not confided in his parents about a friend, the odds he'd told them about the short week they spent making love were slim.

"Sirius, how old are you?"

"Nineteen, sir." Where was he going with this?

"I see," Mr. Lupin said pensively. "In that case, I'm afraid I find what you're telling me quite impossible to believe."

Unexpected anxiety clenched at Sirius's heart. "Why is that?"

"Because Remus died twelve years before you were even born."

oOo

"His parents found him the next morning. It was…messy. Poor Mrs. Lupin. She was dragged from that house screaming bloody murder. Loads of people had gathered by that point. She was screaming for Remus. Screaming at her husband for turning that bloke out. Completely covered in her boy's blood."

It wasn't often James Potter could be stunned into silence.

"I don't believe it," he managed finally. "You're having us on because we're not from around here."

Frank shook his head. "I wish I was. They never caught him, The Wolf. Remus was buried and the family moved out of that house. It went up for sale but no one ever wanted to buy it after they'd heard what happened. Years went by; eventually the house started falling apart. People grew up or moved away, but the house remained, growing older and greyer, and it sort of became a legend."

"But…" James trailed off taking in Lily's and Peter's equally shocked expressions. "But that can't be. Sirius knows him! They've had conversations! They're friends!"

"Yeah, well, you've heard what most of the village think of him. He's mental."

Almost as one, James and Peter were on their feet.

"He is not!"

"Take it back!"

Lily took hold of their sleeves, forcing them back into their seats, but she too was glaring at Frank.

"Relax, I didn't mean anything by it," he said, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm not saying I think he's a nutter but everyone else around here does. He gets pulled out of that house talking nonsense and now you're telling me he's friends with boys who are supposed to dead. What would you think?"

Thoughtful silence filled the air, the question landing on them each in turn. James refused even a moment of doubt to take hold, but Peter was beginning to look uncertain as he worried the nail on his thumb. Lily, however, seemed unconvinced quite like she had the first several times James professed his undying love for her. Lily was always a hard nut to crack, he thought fondly.

"What you're saying doesn't make sense," said Lily coolly, crossing her arms over her chest. "Sirius stayed here with his uncle. He'd have said something once he knew who Sirius was hanging around with."

James loved her brilliant mind. He turned expectantly back to Frank who looked unsure for the first time since he'd begun his tale.

"The thing is, Dr. Black did know. After they patched Sirius up that night he got locked in, him and my dad gave us all a serious talking to about it. Told us the whole story. We always thought it was just some old house, you know?"

"I still don't understand," Peter ventured. "If his uncle knew, why wouldn't he have said anything to Sirius about it?"

Brief snatches of conversations he'd had with Sirius about his estranged uncle came to mind. More than once Sirius had confessed to James how he thought he loved his uncle more than his own father, his voice laced with a combination of grief and guilt. _"He just…all he cared about was that I was happy."_

Frank shrugged. "Well, I figured he must have. Sirius came back to the village after Dr. Black died and he starts asking around for Remus. I figured he must have told Sirius the story, but I had no clue what he was on about."

The skeptical look had not left Lily's eyes. "You said Remus's parents buried him. I presume nearby?" she asked. Frank nodded. Lily stood and gathered her pack. "James, pay him for the drinks please. It was lovely meeting you, Frank."

James dropped a few bills on the table and stuck out a hand. "Thanks," he said, shaking Frank's hand. "Sorry, must dash. Come along, Peter."

They hurried after Lily who was already exiting the bar.

"Er…where are we going?" he asked Lily once they were outside.

Green eyes fixed on a point in the distance. James followed her gaze, coming to rest on a steeple poking just over the tops of the surrounding buildings. Lily smiled. "To get proof."

oOo

It was clear these people were insane. Or very determined to keep Sirius away from Remus. He stood and took several steps away.

"Don't lie to me!" he said with a glare at the older man. "Did he run away? Or are you keeping him locked up so he won't show anyone else how you hurt him?"

For an older man, John Lupin moved with surprising speed. He wrapped both hands over Sirius's shoulders, shaking him violently. "Yes, I hurt him! It's my fault! Is that what you want to hear? Do you think I don't blame myself every day?"

Startled, Sirius pushed the man away and watched him stumble and fall against the door, breathing heavily.

"Just tell me where he is," Sirius said quietly.

John straightened and turned away from Sirius, his hand resting on the doorknob. "We buried him in the village. You can find him there," he said, stepping back inside and closing the door firmly behind him.

oOo

Alphard had never been one for Sunday service, so it almost came as a surprise, to Sirius, that the village had a cemetery tucked into a quiet corner behind the church. They'd buried Alphard in family plot in London to keep the rest of his dead relatives company and the summer days spent cavorting around with Remus had never led him to this serene space.

Remus.

This was ridiculous. Remus wasn't going to be here. Feeling stupid, he almost turned away from the arched gate to head back the way he'd come. To demand an answer. But his feet moved automatically, carrying him towards what, his instinct told him, he could no longer deny.

He hadn't made past more than a few faded headstones when he caught sight of three familiar figures in the distance.

Numbly, like moving through water, Sirius hurried over to where his friends were standing. It seemed to take an age to maneuver through the dark grey stones and statues, flashes of unfamiliar names and dates jumping out at him. He stopped, only a few graves between him and his friends who were watching him with pale faces. Did he really want to see this?

A tingling nervousness, like standing on the edge of a diving board just before jumping flooded through Sirius, making him dizzy. Taking a steadying breath, he moved through his friends towards the grey slab they were surrounding.

For all the build up and anxious feelings, the headstone was rather unremarkable, like many of the others surrounding it. Etched into the stone, however, were the most unbelievable words Sirius had ever read.

In loving memory

Remus J. Lupin

March 10 1975 – June 17 1981

oOo

Days or minutes might have passed as Sirius sat in front of Remus's grave. James had tried to get him to leave, in a voice far gentler than he'd ever heard the boy use, but Sirius insisted on staying. Shadows shifted around him as the sun passed over head, sinking closer to the horizon, and still he sat.

Eventually, the sound of footsteps coming from behind him could be heard. He waited for James or Lily, possibly even Peter, to try to drag him away. Minutes dragged on until, finally, a soft voice began speaking.

"I told you it wouldn't work."

Sirius tore his gaze away from the jumble of letters now permanently etched into his memory. Dying sunlight shone orange in Remus's hair and eyes. He sat beside Sirius, leaning back against same headstone Sirius was resting on, his gaze fixed on the stone in front of him.

"Between us, I mean," he continued. Remus was not much different from the last time Sirius had seen him. He was still painfully skinny. Still had the same dark smudges beneath his eyes and the hollows of his cheeks mixing with the smattering of freckles across his nose. Still perfectly lovely. He swallowed, not quite trusting his voice to remain steady.

"You know, I've never actually been here," Remus said, as if the thought had only just occurred to him. He glanced up at Sirius with a wry smile. "I dunno I guess I thought, if I never actually saw it, I could forget."

Sirius could do nothing but stare at the other boy, the words from the headstone flashing behind his eyes every time he blinked. He tried to move his hand to touch what looked like a very solid, very real body beside him, but his hand was frozen in his lap.

In an embarrassingly shaking voice he asked, "What are you?"

"I don't really know," said Remus, slowly. He looked back at the headstone, his brows furrowed, as if trying to puzzle out the answer in the solid proof of his death. "I'd never left the house before I met you. Until then everything was just…dark"

"What was so special about me?"

Remus turned back to meet his gaze again. "You said you weren't scared of me. Said you'd be my friend. And I really wanted to see you again so…I left."

Lifting his hand from his lap at last, Sirius tentatively ran his fingers across one freckled cheek. Remus leaned into the touch, his eyes drifting shut.

"This is impossible…" said Sirius, shaking his head. "You're not…"

Mimicking the gesture, Remus touched Sirius's cheek, threading his fingers through his hair before cupping the back of his head and pulling him closer. "I'm here," he said, and closed the gap until there was nothing but their lips pressed together and their hearts beating between them.

Mad laugher bubbled in his throat as the thought passed through his head. There was no heart beating in Remus's chest. The warmth of his lips. The sighs he breathed. None of that made any sense. He was kissing the very same boy who was buried and rotting beneath his feet. The thought made his head spin and he shoved Remus away roughly.

Remus tumbled backward with a soft cry. He brushed hair from his eyes and watched Sirius as he stood and began backing away, a distraught look in his eyes.

"Sirius, wait!" Remus called after him, but Sirius ignored him. He felt a hand wrap around his wrist, forcing him to turn. Angry brown eyes met his with an accusing glare. "You said you'd stay if I asked."

"That was before."

The hard glare softened. Remus was running his hands through his hair, pulling him close, and kissing him again. "Stay. Please. Nothing's changed," he mumbled against his lips. "I still…"

Only everything had changed. Everything Sirius thought he knew was in shambles. It was too much. Sirius pushed the hands away, more gently this time. "I'm sorry. I have to go."

Remus did not try to stop him as he turned and hurried back towards the village where his friends were waiting. When he looked back at the sea of crumbling headstones, Remus was nowhere in sight.

oOo

The silence on the train ride taking them back to London was deafening. Seven years of friendship and James Potter chooses now to keep his gob shut. Peter's nose was buried in a book, though Sirius knew he wasn't reading because, for one, Peter hated reading, and his eyes were not moving, nor had he turned a single page. The only person not suffocating on the thick cloud of awkward silence was Lily who was alternating between shooting James furious looks and giving him encouraging smiles.

"Do you suppose they offer group rates at Bedlam?" he said, cutting through the tension at last. "Only I hope they don't put me in the same room as mother. That would be unbearable."

Lily's smile faded. "Sirius…"

"What? You're all thinking it. Just getting it out there."

"You're not mental, Sirius," said James firmly.

That drew a bark of laughter. He stared at his friend in disbelief. "You don't actually believe that, do you?"

"I do!" insisted James. "Look, there are loads of things we can't explain. Miracles. Aliens. Fucking Loch Ness!"

He knew James was trying to make light of the situation, but this was starting to make him angry. "Oh because people who claim they've seen Nessie or have been abducted by aliens aren't crazy at all."

James gave him a disgusted look. "Funny, I never took you for a coward."

Lily and Peter—his book having fallen to the floor with a loud thud—stared at the messy-haired boy in surprise.

"What did you call me?" asked Sirius in a dangerously low voice.

"You're terrified," James stated, very matter-of-factly, "because knowing the truth about Remus doesn't fit into the nice little belief system you've set for yourself. It challenges the way you think and you can't handle it! So instead you'd rather trick yourself into believing none of it was real by running away. Gutless bastard."

"James!" said Lily, smacking him hard on the arm. "You're not being very helpful! Apologize."

But Sirius didn't stick around to listen to any apologies. Shoving past an astonished Peter, he slammed the compartment door open and left.

"Yeah, go on and run, Black," he heard James calling after him. "Getting good at that aren't you?"

oOo

Sirius decided to ride in the dining carriage until the next stop. There was only one other person in the carriage with him. An elderly gentleman holding a wooden pipe in one hand and a book in the other. He was wearing a suit made of purple velvet and had the most impressive beard Sirius had ever seen. He looked up when Sirius stormed in, surveying him critically over half-moon spectacles.

He almost laughed at the irony. Of course he'd pick the one compartment containing the only other nutter in a three mile radius. Perhaps the man could suggest a good doctor? He looked like an authority on mad fellows, such as himself. Was purple velvet a requirement for all head cases, Sirius wondered?

He glanced again at the wooden pipe and then at the no smoking sign just over man's shoulder. Deciding if this loony could ignore the rules against smoking then so could he, he shook one cigarette from the carton and patted his pockets, searching for a familiar solid lump.

"Shit," he muttered around the filter. He'd left his lighter in the compartment with his luggage.

Beside him, the old man cleared his throat. Pipe between his teeth and eyes back on his book, the man held out a small box of matches. Sirius took it gratefully.

"Thanks," he said after a long, calming exhale.

He handed the box back to the man who placed it in his breast pocket and gestured to the seat across him. Sirius dropped into the seat, feeling uncomfortably like he'd just been called into his old headmaster's office for some prank he and James had pulled.

"Pardon me asking, young man, but are you quite alright?" the man asked in a kind voice, looking up from his book. "You look as if you've seen a ghost."

Sirius threw his head back and laughed, so loud and hard, he began coughing on the burn in his throat from the cigarette. The man seemed unfazed by his laughter, simply watching Sirius curiously. Sirius wiped mirth from his eyes and said, "Let's just say I've been living in a dream for the last several years and I'm only just waking up."

The man accepted this answer and pushed an empty tea cup towards Sirius, gesturing to the ash collecting on the table. Sirius nodded his thanks, feeling extraordinarily melancholy after his bout of laughter.

"Fascinating things, dreams," the man said knowledgably, as if they'd been discussing the subject for hours. "So vivid, so rich in detail, one can sometimes lose a grasp on reality."

"Tell me about it," muttered Sirius, stubbing the remains of his cigarette into the cold dregs of tea.

"I do hope it was a nice dream."

"It was." The melancholy in his chest intensified as he recalled all of the mad adventures he'd shared with Remus. Howling at the moon. Wishing on stars. Kissing in the rain. He sighed. "It really was."

"If it was so nice," the man said, eyes focused on his book once more, "why not simply go back to sleep?"

The man spoke in riddles. Sirius shook his head, as if trying to dislodge the offending words like water from his ears. "Because…because it isn't real! I would be deluding myself—"

"Tell me," the man cut in casually, "do you enjoy taking walks on a sunny day?"

Sirius faltered. "Er…I'm sorry, what?"

"Did you know that many ancient human cultures used to worship the sun?" The man laid down his book, analyzing Sirius closely. "Our very ancestors used to worship the sun as a god. And why not?"

Unsure if the man was expecting an answer or if the question was rhetorical, Sirius cleared his throat, and then said, "Well…you can see the sun."

"Precisely! We can see the sun every day. We know it will rise in the morning and set in the evening. It gives us light, warmth, it fuels our very existence. It holds an awesome power that our ancestors, brimming with untapped intelligence, could not explain."

Sirius nodded, thinking privately that this man really was mental, but not wanting to seem rude.

"The gifts of knowledge and science we have gained since those early days have changed how we, as a human race, view our light bringer." The man leaned in close, his voice dropping to a whisper, "But does that stop any of us from enjoying a walk in the park on a sunny day?"

oOo

For the most part, James hated arguing with Sirius. He loved the other boy like a brother but his explosive temper and sullen moods sometimes made him truly impossible to deal with. He knew he'd been harsh with his friend, but he wasn't going to stand by and listen to him make jokes about his sanity. Especially when Lily was already furious with him and Peter had told him quietly, before they'd boarded the train, that he thought Sirius might really be mad.

The entire situation was incredibly surreal, but he had not been joking when he'd been making his point. There were plenty of things in the world that could not be explained. So Sirius had made friends with some sort of ghost-boy. Fuck, it was possible wasn't it?

The compartment door burst opened suddenly. Sirius was back and grinning like a loon. James felt his stomach sink a little, an apology on the tip of his tongue, when Sirius began speaking excitedly.

"I'm going back," he said, rummaging in the overhead racks for his pack. "I'm getting off at the next stop."

The compartment exploded with questions.

"What?"

"Why?"

"What's changed?"

Sirius just shook his head, brushing hair out of his eyes, still wearing a broad smile. "It's like the sun," he said, simply.

oOo

There were fewer sights more haunting than the Shrieking Shack at night, Sirius had to admit. Knowledge of what had taken place within its walls certainly did nothing to lessen its power to send a chill of fear across his skin. The old image of the injured rabbit surfaced—only now it was soaked in bright red blood, completely broken.

Though the image made his skin crawl and his stomach turn, it gave him an odd sort of courage. He tugged uselessly on the padlock to the gate. Pity the caretaker had not given him the key. Grasping the iron grill firmly, Sirius gave it a few test shakes to make sure it would not collapse, and hefted his foot onto the crossbar. The fence rattled in a disgruntled way as Sirius climbed up and over.

He recalled walking the same path years ago, mildly terrified, but completely secure in the knowledge that there was nothing to fear by knocking on a door.

Stepping gingerly onto the steps and up to the door, Sirius took a deep breath and knocked.

oOo

_"Is it haunted? I suppose that depends on who is telling the story. Personally, I don't think so. But ask around. You'll hear it told differently every time. Or better yet, ask Sirius Black. He's got a story you won't even believe."_


End file.
